April Fools = Not So Fun Anymore

I am not sure if I even feel like I have a "right" to post about this, but this has LARGELY been in my thoughts today.

Nathan was diagnosed with cancer this day, five years ago. I will never forget that day. Ever since, this day holds a whole new meaning to me, and it's not a happy one. So many mixed feelings. Anger (at God, IF there is one). Sadness. Sympathy. Pain. Also, gratitude. Although I am at my whits end with the boys today, I can't help but hug them a little tighter today. Then reading Susan's post on her blog just tore me to pieces. I prayed to God (again if there is one!) to give Luke and Susan strength today, and all the days to come... and I prayed that Angel Nathan is watching down on them and giving them strength and hope as well. I haven't TRULY prayed in a long time...