Feisty Patsy

My Grandma Ackelson has always been a feisty woman. She has a wonderful personality and is fun to be around. She might be set in her ways (like all old people are!) but she really loves all of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and gains much joy from spending time with them.

My dad called with some bad news yesterday... my Grandmother is in the hospital and not doing too well. She's had her share of medical issues in her lifetime, but this time it seems more grim. And seeing her age, it's not exactly a surprise either. A few months ago, she sold her house and moved into a newer, town home. The very day my dad and uncles were moving her things from the house to storage, my dad had to rush her to the ER. Her boyfriend had passed away a couple of days before that day. My Grandfather died maybe 9 years ago and she eventually moved on and fell in love with a nice man named Glen. I think losing yet another love has pushed her over the edge because since then, her health has been going downhill, and fast. They aren't sure exactly what is going on with her right now... it could be anything from cancer to heart failure. She has been retaining a lot of water and this has been putting pressure on her lungs and heart, so she feels out of breath and very tired. When she gets out of the hospital, she will be staying at a long-term care type place where they can monitor her 24/7, and offer therapy and care.

So forget about all the logistics... I am SO scared. I have already lost 3 other Grandparents, but this will be the hardest for me. She has been my favorite. And having lived with her and my Grandfather in his last days, I feel especially close to her. Going through that with her and taking care of her through it............ Although I have to say I think I have bonded with her more later simply because I have grown up and matured. I regret not keeping in touch as often as I should since starting a family. I only talk to her a couple times a year. I wish it were more now!

I am about to give her a call. I'd tried earlier but she was in the restroom after therapy. The nurse told me to call back in 20 minutes. I am so scared to make this phone call, but I have to do it. I want to go visit this weekend for fear of not being able to see her before she passes, but I already have plans. If things get really bad, I will go up by myself on Sunday. If not, we may go as a family next weekend. I hope that she gets through this, but at the same time I don't want her to be in pain anymore. I don't pray much, but I really do pray that God works his Plan and that she isn't too uncomfortable (if at all) through whatever that Plan may be.

Off to make that phone call... I need to compose myself because I am sure she won't understand a word I am saying if I keep crying like this!

Well I called and made it through the call. She was very tired and didn't really sound well on the phone. She knew how I was when I said hi and I told her that her mind was still sharp. I only talked to her for about three minutes. She confused me with being one of my Uncle Denny's kids in the middle of the phone call b/c she said "Do you know when your dad is getting out (of jail)?" I am sure that is heavy on her mind and she'd also like to see him when she is so sick. I just told her that I love her and want to come visit ASAP. And that was it..... SO it looks like we'll go up on Sunday, spend the night and then come home on Monday. Max will take PTO for the trip. I could go up alone, but I'd also like to make it a positive trip and let the kids see their grandparents as well.