Nathan Gentry

For lack of a better blog title! I have been a little down the last few days because the Gentry's got some bad news (although expected, it still is shocking and just as painful to hear) about Nathan's cancer. He had an MIBG scan that showed his cancer has significantly progressed. They are running out of options are are basically to the point where they need to balance quality of life verses quanity of life. These test results just rectify the fear all of us have been experiencing... Nathan's time here on Earth is coming to an end, possibly soon.

I have so many feelings running through me. Feelings of guilt (all of the coulda, woulda, shoulda's), pure sadness, anger, frustration, gratefulness and just a tiny glimmer of hope. And the crazy thing is, NONE of this is even about ME or my feelings! It's about a poor little boy who doesn't even remember life as a healthy child. It's about all of the pain and suffering he has gone through. It's about all the terrible things he has endured and seen. It's about his parents, who IMO possibly have it worse then he does. They know the truth about this illness, they understand so much more. They have to make these hard decisions and live with them. They have to watch their child suffer in pain and sometimes be the one to actually inflict his pain. They have to live on after he has gone to Heaven. At least by God's Grace, Nathan will NOT suffer anymore in Heaven. His parents will always, every minute of their days to come, endure the pain that the loss of a child can only create. And lastly, it's about Nathan's sisters, Julia and Lauren. Of course they come last, they are often stuck in the background, behind the shadows. Not forgotten, not neglected by any means, its just for obvious reasons, their big brother needs more time and attention then they do. Ugh, the loss they will feel personally as well.

The good news is that the Gentry's are taking a trip to DisneyWorld. Quite possibly their last family vacation as a complete family. This is obvioiusly a trip of a lifetime and durring the trip they will have the cloud of doom constantly hovering over them. Will Nathan be well enough to enjoy this trip to the fullest? Will this be our last family vacation with Nathan? etc etc. But Luke and Susan are phenomenal parents and human beings. They are strong, dedicated and most of all, loving parents. They will make this trip work. They are the glue that puts the peices together everyday. God Bless them!

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Edited to add that I decided to raise some money for them. Either for their trip, medical expenses, bills... whatever they please. I raised almost $800!!! About half of that came from one person and her family and friends on the side who have never had the pleasure of meeting the Gentrys, but it is just amazing the outpouring of support! I hear that Nathan's school is also doing a fundraiser of sorts. I think this is great and they are SO deserving of it all. I am so happy to have done SOMETHING to help.